Morning Musings

 
​​I saw a quote this morning in my social media newsfeed that really hit me between the eyes: “What matters is the experience of freedom, connectedness and peace beyond the words.”   -Jetohu
And it got me thinking about how this applies to our relationships with dogs and a conversation I had earlier in the week with a client about my own dogs. She asked me how many dogs I had. I replied I live with two dogs. She said laughingly, “You mean two dogs live with you.” I clarified, “No, I live with my two dogs.” And there is a difference. 

I have never viewed any of my dogs as possessions. They don’t own me, and I don’t own them. I am their guardian. It is my job to make them feel safe and wanted, always. We co-exist. We share space. We live together. Yes, of course they live with me physically, but what I am talking about is how I view our relationship…I live with my dogs. It isn’t a top-down relationship. We live in harmony with each other. I expect very little of my dogs; the less I expect, the more they give (if that makes sense). This isn’t to say that they are not trained, but they don’t ever have to be perfect little soldiers. They go out the door first for very practical reasons; there is limited space at the top of the stairs, it is safer for me to let them go first. They lead the walks they go on, and they are walked on 20-foot-long lines, in the woods where they have the latitude to meander and engage with the environment in a more natural way. They eat before me or while I am eating my dinner, most of the time we eat together like a family would. And yes, my dogs sleep with me if they want to and most of the time they want to. Quality sleep is essential to overall health for both humans and canines. My dogs like me seek a comfy place to sleep, and because they would rather be with me than sleep alone on their beds or the couch, they are always welcome in my bed. My dogs bark, make noise, play rough, knock things over, get dirty, bring mud in the house, refuse to go out in the rain, turn their noses up at dinner, sometimes skip meals, pester the cat, follow me in the bathroom, are very nosey, have no concept of personal space, and steal the cat’s food whenever they get the chance. And that’s all okay. They are, after all, dogs. They are not robots, to be programed to behave in unnatural ways. They are sentient beings with opinions and feelings, needs and desires and to treat them as anything less is a disservice to them and to your relationship. 

This morning as I often do, I sat in bed with my coffee and my dogs, (and my cat). I was in bed for several hours coming off a relapse with a stomach virus, just thinking and being in the moment. As I watched my dogs breathe, I thought about where Marty and Wish had come from, not geographically so much, but emotionally. I thought about their trauma of neglect and abandonment. I thought about Wish’s starvation and giving birth to a litter of puppies while being 25 pounds under weight, being shot, seized in a neglect case, brought to a shelter, transported up the east coast into a foster home. I thought about all the moving pieces and all the kindness of humans it took to get her to where she was right now…safe in my bed. 

 I thought about Marty, who was left alone for 10 plus hours a day, and how he had to eat off of the same floor he relieved himself on, how he was surrendered twice by two previous owners to two different shelters, and how frightening that must have been for him, and how the kindness of the animal control officer at the last shelter saw his potential, and how we drove two states away to bring him to where he was right now…safe in my bed. I thought about all that trauma and how trauma is stored in the body and impacts every facet of existence. And I wept knowing that neither of these dogs would ever have to worry about being abandoned, neglected, feeling alone, going hungry or feeling unsafe again.
It has been both an honor and privilege to not only live with these two dogs, but to watch them develop their relationship with each other and be a part of that unique experience. I cherish having the opportunity to enjoy the individual relationships we share and just spending time with each other without any expectations.
Whether you spend time with your dog just snuggling in your bed or sitting in the grass feeling the sun on your faces and the breeze in your hair, never forget the most important parts of life are that we all deserve the experience of freedom, connectedness and peace.
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Special thanks to:
Blooper Animal Rescue & Transport
Baypath Humane Society
Hartford Animal Shelter Partnered with Hartford Police Department